Showing posts from November, 2017

I love the person I've become, because I fought to be her.

Survivor: 1. A person who has coped brilliantly with life's challenges.  2. One who has remained determined to keep moving forward, one day, one step at a time.   (See also: defiant, gritty, strong-willed, courageous)
I posted on my Instagram yesterday about my meditation...the focus was about being in the now. When we focus on our past, it tends to manifest itself into depression. When we focus on the future, it usually is anxiety. We need to try and focus on being in the present, the here and now. Because once we do that, everything else will work itself out. So simple, yet so insanely difficult to do.
Sidebar to this - meditation. Can I just say, I have NO idea what I'm doing here. However, I did download an app (I do love this tech savvy generation) for it and I must admit, I am hooked. Even if it is just a placebo, it's helping! I find it so important to actually take time for ME. When was the last time you actually did that? Not, "oh I'm going to do somethin…

The Rising Sun

As I was brushing my teeth tonight, I kept thinking of ways to describe what I'm is what I came up with: Have you ever.....experience the gut wrenching feeling of misplacing a child? The shear panic that hits your body like a bucket of water was just poured over you and you don't know which way to turn, whether to scream or run?  Have you ever had the feeling of walking outside on the morning/evening of the coldest day you can remember: it's pitch black, oh-so-silent and peaceful, the air burns your nose it's that cold, and breathing kind of hurts?  Have you ever been sad, so utterly grieved that you can't stop crying, you cough and almost throw up because your body is trying to breathe yet also mourn a gut-wrenching tragedy to the point you nearly pass out?  Have you ever been on a roller coaster, where you're laying back, hearing the click-click-click sound as you ascend up into the sky and you suddenly get the feeling of "why did I do thi…

Healing is a choice...a really hard one

My how times have changed. There has been an insane amount of shit that has happened since my last post, I wouldn't even know where to begin! So let's start with now....
I want to write about me, my thoughts and feelings, emotions, etc. stuff that sometimes people shut down and lock away and never want to bring forth. Why? Mostly because it helps me to write down and get out what I'm thinking. I've always been that way and I guess I don't see me changing now. Second, I'm hopeful that some of what I'm going through, others can relate to, and can then share their stories. I need encouragement. I need honestly. I need others to help me heal and grow and love!

I realize that my journey, and the people in it, have families and lives and people who care about them. I too am one of those people. I'm not here to point fingers or throw stones and condemn others for being worse than myself. We all have sin, we all have shit we wish we could take back. We all (hop…