Little Eyes are Watching Us

I was wasting time on the Instagram today, like most of you do countless times everyday, and I came across a post I just had to share. I follow this athlete, someone I've honestly never heard of, but found her while scrolling through the "suggested" persons area. If you are a mom, please read: alphakilo
Anna's words are so inspiring to me, and she articulate exactly how I feel. 
"I didn’t hide the hard work, sacrifice and painful days, because that’s realistic of life. I knew that if I wanted to lead by example, then I would have to devote myself wholly to a life of self-discovery, discipline and remaining open to challenge and growth. I knew this would benefit all of us in the end. All parents can do this in their own way. This is mine."This year is a growth year for me...I'm learning to be an adult (I know, this is something most people learn before they are 33, however, I haven't done a stellar job). This process of growth for me is insanely diffic…

Unmoveable Mountains

While working today, I turned on Pandora and a song came on that immediately made me stop.... (Sorry to my boss if you're reading time/money was used in the making of this blog post). Mercy Me - Even If. You guys. Seriously, this song is amaze-balls. Here is a link to the SONG on YouTube, with lyrics. A nugget:

But God when you choose, To leave mountains unmoveable, Oh give me the strength to be able to sing It is well with my soul. 
I know you're able, and I know you can Save through the fire with your mighty hand But even if you don't, My hope is in you alone.
One of my friends struggled for years with infertility. I remember the day she came to me and told me her doctor at the time basically told her it was impossible and to give up all hope. She was crushed beyond belief. She had faith though, that God would move an unmoveable mountain. She told me during one of her times talking with her mom, while pouring out her heart to her, her mom asked her (and I…

Breakthroughs and Breakdowns

I was going to start off with some incredibly motivating picture and quote for's a new year and everyone is all balls deep in "Let's do this!" And at times, yes, I am too. But it's not like at the drop of the ball and the countdown is over, things just instantly change, and life gets better. I still have my problems...I still have my fears, anxiety, depression, insecurities and failures lurking in the back of my mind. I can say though, that this year, I do feel different. I'm tired of putting up with the bullshit. I'm making this year about me for once.

I've been trying to do this in a few different is meditating. While I have little clue as to how to do this, I know that my mind is where it all begins. From maxing out my deadlift, to getting out of bed, to folding laundry (I literally do this only when its as if I'm going to be naked from no clothes), overcoming the mental struggle is the first battle!
I also plan to travel…

The Artisan Approach

2018 will bring many new things for me...the first of which will be a new job! I started a few weeks ago and so far...I'm simply in love. Honestly, it was an answer to many prayers of mine and I am beyond excited to see where it takes me.  I will be working as the Operations Manager for Artisan Auctions. While my job duties are still in the making, I will be helping build and progress their online presence; Facebook, YouTube, the website, and eventually their blog.  Kelly and her team are absolutely amazing at what they do. I am in awe of her passion for these organizations, for doing all that she can to guide their teams as they prepare for their event. Friends, if you know of a non-profit that is in need of a benefit auctioneer for their fundraiser, I encourage you to please consider hiring her. I can promise you, you won't regret it! Click on the YouTube link above and watch the videos...she knows what she's doing and has fun doing it!  I'm anxious...for this new c…

Don't Grow Up, Little Girl

Today is Christmas! Finally, all the fretting, stressing and anxiety is over. I was awoken before the sun peaked it's head above the horizon, by my son at 6:23am. Avery followed suit maybe 10 min later and I held them at bay until 7, when I woke the baby child to open gifts. All the excitement and secrecy...over in a matter of minutes. Literally. I wonder why we go through so much effort, such insane dedication to find out what they want most, talk about it for weeks, months even, for them to tear open this coveted toy and quickly set it aside to open something else. On to the next one!! At any rate, I sat today and studied my daughter. She was assembling all 2,943 pieces of an ice cream truck for her American Girl doll. She delicately placed each scoop in exactly the right spot. She had such precision and focus. And I couldn't help but think "how long will this last???" Not the time it will take for everything to get knocked out and lost. But rather, how long will …

Silent Bravery

Where to begin...I've written this post several times and by now you'd think I'd know what to say and how to say it. Unfortunately, I still don't. So here goes...
Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love everything about it; the true meaning ("8lb 6oz newborn infant Jesus"), decorating, lights, music, movies, food. The list is endless. My birthday is only 2 weeks after Christmas and I remember as a kid always being so excited for this; any gifts I didn't get on Christmas, I could be sure to receive on my birthday! It was like a double-dip! But this year, this year is completely different. As I decorated my tree, I unboxed so many memories; memories on metal hooks that have little to no significance to anyone other than me. Christmas ornaments are gifts I love to give and receive. They have the power to speak volumes, to take you back to a specific event, childhood or nostaglic encounter. And this year time didn't stop for me. The memories of my life, …

The Pursuit of Happiness

"When we least expect it, life sends us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A moment is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny". - Paulo Coelho

Some days are easy; waking up and going about my day is second nature. There is little to any thought about it and what it holds; I wake up ready to conquer and I do! And then others....each minute is a victory, because damn it, life sucks and things get hard. I struggle to keep myself together; at work, in my car, at the store, at home with my kids or when I'm alone. Sometimes I am overwhelmed and everything hits me. I still cry and today is no exception.
My thoughts my past. Decisions that were made, some that weren't. Second-guessing what I did, what I could have done, what I should have done and what I didn't do. I have a…