Waiting for Baby

I don't really have much to say today or recently... I've just been really anxious about having this baby. I'm ready and waiting. I found out yesterday that he is in fact breech, which is really worrying me. I know it's not a big deal but the thought of having a c-section is frightening to me. I think it's the fear of it all; the unknown. Plus, I just have this vision of a scar on my stomach that makes me have a bulgy non-flat stomach. Like those contestants on the Biggest Loser who have surgery and afterwards they just have this huge indent where the scar was and then all this fat that sort of caves inward. Gross. I also watched a c-section when I worked at the hospital and it's frightening to me! The tiniest incision is made then all these retractors are put in with people pulling hard. The thought of being conscious whilst I'm being cut open is also not so appealing, regardless of the spinal. I just hope he turns on his own and I don't need to have the version to move him.
Thankfully my mom came over yesterday to help me get some cleaning and organization done. I just haven't felt like doing much of anything lately and it was awesome that she helped out. We went through about 8 huge tubs of Avery's clothes that she had outgrown and filled an industrial garbage bag full of ones to donate. We also got out all the baby stuff for the new baby...bath tub, car seat, swing; with it all set up now, it makes me feel like he'll be here any minute.
I've decided to get rid of our dog Lexa too. I hate to do it...I love her so much and she's my dog. I love how great of a cuddler she is, how she loves to play fetch, and how much joy she brings Avery. But, she hasn't been doing well (come to think of it, she's pretty much been this way since we got her) with going potty outside. There are so many times that she pees on the floor and I just can't handle it any more. The stress is making me crazy! I'm very serious about having a mental breakdown, especially with the added stress of a new baby, and I don't want to hurt myself, the dogs, or the kids. So, I think the best thing is for us to find a new home for her. I put a listing out on petfinder, and at the end of the 2 wk listing, if she doesn't have a new home, we are going to take her to the humane society (no kill). I cry every time I think about it. I hate to say goodbye; like I'm giving up. But I just have to think about my sanity and the safety of my family. Ugh. I hate it.
In the mean time, hopefully I can get rested and relaxed before our new baby comes. We still have absolutely NO idea of a name so that's my homework for now!


  1. Hang in there...you are in the home stretch and My niece has a c-section a few months ago and the scar is healing nicely, so I will first of all pray for you the he turns for you and secondly that if he is going to be stubborn about it that your surgeon doing the cut, is a woman who understands the importance of our tummies! As for your dear little poochie, sometimes it just happens and pets often get stuck in that terrible two stage and since they can't communicate verbally with them we can't move on. I am sure she will find a nice home. If you would like to send me a pic I could put it on my fb for you to see if anybody is interested in the challenge of potty training their new pet:) Can't wait to see pics of your little mystery man...God Bless you! Mel


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I love the person I've become, because I fought to be her.

Silent Bravery

Don't Grow Up, Little Girl